Now that I’ve survived two weeks, and one dreadfully long weekend with no internet access to speak of (oh! the horror!), I think it’s time to relate some useful information I have learned about surviving in this big, alien metropolis.
#1 Stop signs are suggestions, put no faith in them.
#2 Bicycles go almost as fast and are just as hazardous as mope heads, so be wary.
#3 Sidewalks — except on the busy main streets — exist so that pedestrians, if they feel so inclined, can scurry out of the street, temporarily, to allow a car, mope head or bike to pass. After doing so, the pedestrian may continue walking leisurely down the center of the street until reaching his destination.
#4 “Class starts at nine” means that the teacher may saunter in between ten and fifteen after — except, of course, on the day that you’re running late, so be on time anyway. Likewise, the thirty minute coffee brake can easily branch into forty-five minutes, so bring something to do.
#5 When in doubt, say prego. This small word has proven itself one of the most useful in the Italian language, having a variety of meanings from “you’re welcome” to “please, madam, take my seat on this bus because you’re a pregnant woman and I’m not.”
#6 Remember, if you ever get lost, and can’t remember what streets the school’s on, or that you live on Via della Vign Nuova, in all likelihood, you need only walk a few steps and you’ll be able to see the Duomo, and consequently can find your way anywhere.
And remember, wherever you go, try not to step on the poor, pathetic pigeons.
Ciao.
